It's not just dark in the closet
By: Amanda Roth
11/2/10 It has been about four weeks since Rutgers University (DC, US)
student Tyler Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge, and
since the beginning of a huge mass media campaign surrounding anti-gay
bullying and associated suicides and suicide attempts. Clementi killed
himself after his roommate streamed a video of his sexual encounter with
another man online. Despite the extreme media coverage on Clementi,
other recent cases like his, and the subsequent campaigns that came out
as a result of them, children and young adults have been committing or
attempting suicide because of anti-gay bullying for much longer than
anyone could potentially recall. "This string of suicides recently is
not news," said Kyle McGiverin. "It's new because is getting so much
attention in the present - and that is a good thing […] - but the fact
is, it is no where near new. It's not a new issue." And he would know.
- - - McGiverin, President of Brock Pride, has been openly gay since he
was 17-years-old. Experiencing plenty of support from a local
organization and his parents when he came out, he came to Brock
University with the intention to do all he could to help other members
of the sexual diverse community. However, upon arrival, he discovered
the club, Brock Pride, which was already in existence, was much smaller
than expected and equipped with few resources. While the club has made
many strides in efforts towards their cause, it seems not very much has
changed in his four years with Brock Pride; and, while he loves what he
does, McGiverin finds this hard to work with. "Let me put it this way -
and this isn't me complaining about my own position - but if I was doing
this job at any other school in Ontario I would be paid, and I'd have a
trained staff, a dedicated area or office, and the resources that we
would have available to us would be far greater than here," said
McGiverin. Despite this, Brock Pride remains an essential resource for
sexually or gender diverse students at Brock University, as well as high
schools throughout the Region. Though McGiverin had much support while
he was coming out, societal judgments still took their toll on him
nonetheless. "When I finally figured out I was gay, my first thought was
'I'm a freak'. […] It wasn't just that I thought it. I believed it with
every inch of my being," he said. However, because of the support
McGiverin received from the people around him, he still feels extremely
fortunate. "I was one of the lucky ones," he said. "I had a lot of
friends and I had a lot of support. So, coming out was fairly easy for
me, but it shouldn't have to be a case of luck. Every gay person should
be entitled to that fair treatment." It is the lack of fair treatment,
and the subsequent bullying and ignorance associated with it, that has
led to the suicides in the news. "High profile cases are unfortunately
just the tip of the iceberg," said Joan Wiley, founder of TransParent,
an organization committed to providing support and resources for the
parents of trans children, as well as raising awareness. "I read a stat
not that long ago that suggested that every six hours an LGBT youth
commits suicide. […] I figured that was about 1,500 students a year. In
the District School Board of Niagara, that would represent one in 10 of
high school students. "I've always taken the position that if
left-handed children or blonde, blue-eyed children were taking their
lives at this rate, there would be immediate intervention. But because
moral judgments, I think that people are slower to respond."
- - - Knowing where these moral judgments come from is key in
understanding how a society can combat them. Religion is often a source
of conflict. Many churches only counsel against sexual orientation and
gender identity judged as abnormal or immoral. "It's difficult to
reconcile what the person in the pulpit is saying when you have those
feelings of love for your child in your heart," said Wiley. "For some
parents its very conflicting, and they have a difficult time getting
over it and giving themselves completely to their child." However, some
progressive churches have opened their arms to the sexual and gender
diverse community - even some in our region, such as the Unitarian
Congregation of Niagara and Silver Spire United Church, both located in
St. Catharines. Another source of moral judgment is a lack of education,
or ignorance. "My thought has always been that if people understood
more, if people made a point of learning more, and if people took steps
to combat their ignorance on the issue - we'd have a lot less problems
then we do now," said McGiverin. "Education is key," said Wiley.
"Education leads to understanding, which leads to acceptance, which
leads to celebration and support." However, a lack of education remains,
despite efforts by the countless organizations attempting to provide
information and awareness to society; translating into a social stigma
against an innocent community. McGiverin often sees young men and women
who are afraid to come out, or do not think it is worth the problems it
would have them face. "Two-thirds of LGBTQ kids feel unsafe in our
schools. And that includes everything from verbal assaults to physical
assaults, in the stairwells, washrooms and change rooms." To reduce some
of this fear, it is a real triumph that Brock has introduced
family-style bathrooms, which are gender neutral. The washrooms help to
lessen the anxiety often felt by trans individuals, especially in
regards to their personal safety. Presumably Brock still does not escape
this statistic; and the ignorance associated with it is well known by
McGiverin, who is often in the halls promoting awareness for Brock
Pride. Last year, as many clubs do, Brock Pride had set up a booth in
A-block of Mackenzie Chown to hand out candy and provide information to
students walking by. McGiverin recalls students approaching their booth
for candy, but then turning away once they realized what the booth was
for, without taking the free sweets. "It was really disheartening," said
McGiverin. "Because I thought, 'Why do you need to so openly broadcast
how against these things you are?'." Acts like these have a profound
personal effect on an individual.
- - - "I think it has been very clear that bullying begins at a very
young age," said Wiley. "Not only for kids who are gay - but also for
kids who are perceived to be gay." "One of the things that we find more
as kids grow older […] is indirect bullying," said Zopito Marini, Child
and Youth Studies Professor at Brock. "This is the kind of bullying
people do without being present, face-to-face." Marini sites the example
of cyber-bulling, the obvious culprit in the case of Clementi - though
an extreme example of it. "We have to keep in mind that the impact on
these people can be traumatic, and sometimes, long lasting," said
Marini. "There are a lot of kids that carry with them a victimized
[feeling]. Those events have a long-term impact on people." This
long-term impact can differ with the individual. Though some are very
resilient, those who internalize their feelings and pain can have much
difficulty recovering from the victimization. Marini mentions the
classic internalizing maladaptive reactions result in the individuals
often experiencing high anxiety, high depression and a lower self-esteem
- all known to lead to suicidal thoughts or attempts. "Bullying is one
of the worst things kids have to face in schools, never mind anything
academic," said McGiverin. One often-overlooked form of indirect
bullying is the use of slang associated with homosexuality. Everyone has
heard the slur, "That's so gay," which has transformed into a negative
connotation used in situations completely unrelated to anything to do
with actually being gay. "You wouldn't say, "That's so black" or "That's
so Jewish"," said McGiverin. If you're feeling slightly shocked by this
statement - think about it twice - and you will likely realize that it
only furthers his argument. "Homophobic behaviours and racist behaviours
have their origins in the same place, which is ignorance, fear, lack of
understanding and, if you look at anything in the civil rights movement
- the parallels are amazing," said McGiverin. These homophobic
behaviours - and their profound affect on the sexual and gender diverse
community - are typically overlooked by society, which tends to focus on
more extroverted kids and young adults who commit crimes, etc., and not
on the kids who internalize their issues or feelings, said Marini.
"Those are the kids we should worry about the most."
- - - Luckily there is plethora of resources for those kids and young
adults, along with their parents, when seeking direction through
difficult times. PFLAG Canada - standing for parents, families and
friends of lesbians and gays - is a nation-wide organization that
provides support, education and resources on issues of sexual
orientation and gender identity - expanded now for all members of the
LGTB community. There is a thriving chapter located in St. Catharines.
TransParent Canada is a Niagara-based, national organization that Wiley
founded in 2005. Affiliated with PFLAG Canada, it provides support to
the parents of trans children and to trans individuals. A big thrust of
the organization is to raise awareness through education. Rainbow Youth
Niagara has been providing information and support to sexually and
gender diverse in the Niagara Region for more than 10 years. There are
also organizations within Brock University that students can utilize.
Brock Pride is a club that provides information and support for Brock
students within the LGBT community, spreads awareness throughout Brock
on a variety of causes for the community and organizes events for all
members of the Brock community in support of these causes. McGiverin has
been the club's President for the last three years. The Positive Space
Campaign, initiated by Human Rights & Equity Services (HRES), is an
initiative to raise the number of respectful, supportive and welcoming
spaces for LGBT students, staff and faculty. HRES is a valuable resource
on its own for any case of discrimination, bullying or unfair treatment
at Brock.
- - - Unfortunately, there are still places throughout Brock that the
LGBT community may feel unwelcome, and even unsafe. An example is
Brock's campus pub, Isaac's Bar and Grill, which often throws themed
events for the Brock community. Many disagree with the decision to call
their yearly Halloween event, the "Playboy Mansion Halloween Bash" again
this year. "The name excludes queer people and places women in the
inferior position of being an objet of entertainment for me," said Denis
Kelly, a Brock student, who addressed this issue with the Brock
University Students' Union (BUSU). "It also implies that there is no
room for the sexual and gender diverse students." Isaac's owner Rob
Morison, apologetic over the matter, explains that the intention of the
bar is to be an apolitical place where Brock students can escape the
outside politics. "It's not necessarily an issue of anti-gay," said
McGiverin. "It is heterosexism." BUSU President Sohail Ahmed offers his
attention to the issue, saying in the future BUSU will take more
precaution when naming Isaac's events that they promote on campus.
"Making Issac's a safe space will take more than an event name change,
but Isaac's can start by not using sexist and heterosexist event names,"
said Kelly. "The last thing Brock University needs is a 'straight male
privilege party'." Despite the concerns, the event still took place
under the controversial name but, whether or not it will appear for a
third year has yet to be determined. In remains clear through this and
other LGBT issues on Brock's campus, that Brock is no exception in the
fight against ignorance over sexual and gender diverse individuals.
Strides continue to be made, with the help of LGBT organizations, the
associated community and a growing number of allies who choose to join
alongside in the efforts.
